Mum and Family Life

My party minefield. It shouldn’t matter but it does.

Birthday parties.

My wee boy’s birthday party. He was 6 and the end of January his party was yesterday.

It’s over with for another year. I can breathe a sigh of relief.

I think the the fact that his party was 6 weeks after his actual birthday is indicative of how I feel about kids birthday parties….specifically my own kids…..I don’t like them.

There I’ve said it.

I’m not a bad mum (really!) I just don’t like kids birthday parties. I find them really really stressful!

 

The minefield of kids birthday parties

For me, kids birthday parties are a minefield for which I don’t have the right mum configuration for.

What’s the etiquette for inviting children? He started primary school in August so the inviting part is a whole new ball game. Do we invite all the kids in his class? Do we have a small party and invite his besties? Do we not have a party at all? What do we do if people don’t reply to the invitation? Do I include them in the numbers? What if I upset or offend parents whose kids haven’t been invited?

 

It’s not the party, it’s me

All of this stems (I think), from my previous job where I used to organise a lot of events.

The worry of will people turn up, will it go according to plan, will I let anyone down, what will people think?

All of these worries and thoughts swirl through my mind. So,  when it comes to my own kids party, add in all of his friends and parents to the mix and I’m doubly stressed.

Who wants to throw a party that kids don’t enjoy, what will the parents say? Oh the pressure.

For the past few years he’s had his party at the David Lloyd club. It has been worry and stress free. He was at nursery so the invite list was pretty straightforward. You drop the kids off, the fab staff there take them away to play party games, then bring them back for food and you collect them at the end.

They even take care of the party bags. All you bring is the cake.

You can sit and have a coffee in peace. The kids have a good time, the parents have a good time, everyone is a winner.

This year I was hoping that the whole party thing would not be on his radar. Wrong!

To be fair he had been asking to have a party with a magician from pretty much the day after he had his 5th birthday party so I should have known that he would remember – he never forgets.

Even then I’d left it and left it in the hope that he would forget.

In the end mum guilt got the better of me.  booked a hall and a magician and we went through the list of people he wanted to invite. He didn’t end up inviting everyone in his class (I feel bad but it was his party!) but at least I know that the people he did invite he wanted to be there.

 

The party…

As it turns out arranging the party wasn’t that bad even though I did spend all morning making cheese rolls.

We put all the food into little bags for them so it meant that there was no heating up for food, no paper plates to tidy up and any left overs could be put straight into a bin liner.

The kids loved the magician: Tricky Ricky http://www.trickyricky.com/

If you live in Edinburgh and are looking for a kids entertainer than I’d highly recommend him. Both the kids and parents thought he was hilarious. All in all, it was a great party, I think.

But and there’s always a but when it comes to me and kids parties. There’s still the little voice inside of me saying hope his little friends had a good time. They seemed to. Hope the parents though it was a well organised party. They seemed to.

What really matters

I guess at the end of the day does it matter what everyone else thinks? No it doesn’t. Of course it doesn’t. It shouldn’t but if I’m honest it does.

If I’m brutally honest I’ll always worry what everyone thinks of me. That’s just the way I am.

I’d love to be a person that doesn’t get so hung up on what other people think of me, of what I do, in this case if the party was good.

What people think of me. It’s my biggest insecurity.

I know that and yet I haven’t yet embraced it and moved on.

It’s a work in progress. I’ll get there some day I hope.

Learning to accept what I see my faults are, to embrace them, but to not focus too much on them. To focus on what I know my strengths are.

We often focus on the negatives and not on the positives. Where I used to work I was once told that people remember when something has gone wrong, less so when something has gone right.

I think as a Mum that’s often the case.

Being a mum often brings your own personal insecurities to the forefront of your mind. It’s part of mum life I guess.

For now I should stop thinking about what people thought of the party. The main thing is that my wee boy enjoyed his party, he went to bed with a smile on his face and that is really ALL that matters.

That said I’m rather relieved that I’m done for another year.

Pass me the G&T please!

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